Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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