Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
