Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I understand Curling. That high.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
