I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
