HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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