We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
