I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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