Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
