I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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