so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
