I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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