On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
