Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
