To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
