Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
this just has baby written all over it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
