he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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