Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
