You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
