I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I can text with my tongue
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
In America we eat man semen.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
