Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
