She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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