sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Randomize
