know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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