He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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