WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My dick has a subreddit
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
