I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
