Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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