Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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