whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
