jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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