I'm really into asian looking animals
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
