whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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