Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
