sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
