I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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