I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
