she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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