how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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