The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
