Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
