Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My pussy is not your playground.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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