dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
