I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
