i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
