How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she told me i tasted like america
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
