we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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