I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
