Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
