No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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