bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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