just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
